Saturday, January 31, 2009

Today's TQ

Persist With Passion Until the Desired Results are Attained...

Are You Walking The Walk, Or Just Talking The Talk?

Simply setting a goal is not enough. If you want to reach your goal, you must continue taking whatever actions are necessary until you do.

Goals must be continuously reinforced with the passion and the reasons for attaining the goal.

"Life is 10 percent what you make it and 90 percent how you take it."~ Irving Berlin

Today's Quest...
How many of your daily routines are directly tied to your goals? _________________________________

What neglected commitment can you attend to today? _________________________________

Which activities in tomorrow's schedule will payoff your most important goals? _________________________________

The Seeker Must Find His Own Happiness

Mouthwash Won't Make You Happy

If A equals success, then the formula is: A = X + Y + Z, X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut.
-Albert Einstein

From "Loving Each Other," by Leo Buscalglia:

We cannot look for joy as we do a lost article of clothing. We make our own happiness. We define it for ourselves and experience it in our unique way. No one can be happy for us nor tell us what should make us happy, though people will always try. The sad fact is that we fall into Madison Avenue traps which convince us that happiness is the right drink, the flashy automobile, the scented deodorant, bursting-with-health cereal or the special snack food. Even the wisest among us are seduced by the exuberant TV ad or the seductive graphic into believing that we, too, can change our lives if we switch to a new mouthwash. We never stop to think that there is nothing in the world which can be given or denied us that will bring us happiness unless we decide it. In fact, the happiest people in the world would probably still be happy if stripped of everything except life...
I constantly had this affirmed in my work with handicapped individuals. I saw quadriplegics who smiled and laughed their way through life, while those working with them, with every physical advantage, were often miserable, unsatisfied and depressed. It is strange that some of the happiest people I have ever known were those who seemed to have no particular cause to rejoice. They were simply happy. They seemed to have in common a singular courage, a willingness to risk, to fail and let go, a belief in themselves, a wonderful resourcefulness, a trust in their creative uniqueness and an ability to hold on to their dream.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Overcoming Fear

Create a Winner's Mindset by DOING TQ Act Now Factor 10d Today...

Use FEAR as a Call to Immediate ACTION... Conquer that Fear by Expanding Your Comfort Zone...

Don't Be Afraid. Do Something. Anything. Now!

Afraid? Just do something. Doing nothing lets your fear grow. Let your fear serve as a call to action. The minute you feel it, jump up to make some improvement.

The more you wait, the more you worry. Taking action cures worry and dissolves fear.

"Whether you think you can or whether you think you can't, you're right!"~ Henry Ford

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Take (Calculated) Risks

The Art of Risk Taking
The key to being happy
by S.K. Smith
Risk can be scary.

Whether the task at hand is jumping from a plane or simply trying a new restaurant, as human beings, we tend to fear the unknown. This is why even the smallest change to the status quo can inspire anxiety - or at least a good case of the what ifs (what if I fail, what if I don't like it, what if it goes brilliantly?), no matter how adventurous you consider yourself to be.

Motivated by such worries, it's no wonder that many of us elect to take the safe route when faced with a decision of any kind (small or big!). But safest isn't always best according to the latest research. In fact, science is once again catching up to age-old wisdom and proving that with great risk comes great reward. Why, you ask?
Because it's when we face our fears that we grow…

Your personal best Think about the moments in life that have made you the happiest. Whether it was achieving a goal, trusting a lover, taking on a new job (or anything else for that matter)... odds are, getting to the payoff involved some uncertainty. You couldn't have been sure things would work out when you began, and you may have experienced some nervousness or fear, but you took the leap and moved ahead anyway - and it paid off. That's because there is no "safe" way. As we've seen again recently with the mortgage crisis, even stalwart institutions go under. "The best laid" plans go awry. Disaster strikes… But so does good fortune - especially when we're willing to make our own.

Inspiring minds
Despite what we think when we're feeling complacent, challenge is inspiring. As we implore our existing skill sets (social, problem-solving, communication or otherwise) we feel more and more capable as those skill sets expand. When we make progress, encountering and surmounting obstacles, our emotional resilience and confidence increase.

In short, by engaging in life outside of the predictable routine, we feel active and participatory… invigorated, and sure, frustrated at times - but satisfied, even when things don't turn out as we'd hoped. That's because experience (including failure) is what prepares us to face our next set of challenges. In other words, chances are the building blocks of a fulfilling life.

If this all sounds like too much for you, take note. Becoming engaged in "The Art of Risk Taking" doesn't have to include life-threatening extreme sports, or even venturing too far from your daily routine. It's okay to start small (and maybe even stay there), and your risks should not be all or nothing or without consideration of if things go wrong. The point is to participate.

Explore areas you find intriguing or exciting. Take paths you wouldn't usually consider if they entice you. And trust your instincts. One of the keys to successful engagement is to think less about outcomes and more about the actual experience. If something feels good when you're doing it, that's a good sign. A little nervousness is okay too. But if your rush is more panic than excitement, take a step back and re-assess. While blind risk taking will do little but leave you feeling foolish, educated risk taking will help you to feel inspired and ultimately enrich your life.

Set Clear Goals

Stress Less by DOING TQ Set Goals Factor 4b Today...

Clearly Define the MOST Desired Outcome Possible...

Want More Control?

Getting control of your life starts with setting clear goals.

Why leave things to chance? Define what you want. Take out your pen and write down exactly what you expect to give and what you expect to get from every role you play.

"When we are motivated by goals that have deep meaning, by dreams that need completion, by pure love that needs expressing, then we truly live life."~ Greg Anderson

Are You a Winner or a Loser?

How to tell if you are a Winner or Loser? It's easy.

In completing the research for one of our new books, we found 4 simple traits that make it easy to spot people at both ends of the spectrum: The Winners vs. The Losers.


ABSOLUTE CLARITY: Winners know exactly what they want, and remain tirelessly focused on the actions necessary to get it. They have CLARITY of purpose... clarity of mission... clarity of goals... clarity of plans and clarity of direction... thus they spend no time RUNNING IN CIRCLES... covering the same old ground, over and over. They get ahead, simply because they have CLARITY of Vision... CLARITY of Values... and CLARITY of Roles.

ABSOLUTE CONVICTION: Winners are absolutely CONVINCED that what they are doing is absolutely, unconditionally, the RIGHT things for them to be doing... and find unique new ways to ferret out opportunity every day they are alive. This unwavering CONVICTION gives them absolute self-confidence and self-efficacy which leads to an optimistic view that the future will be better than the past, so that's where they are headed.

ABSOLUTE COMMITMENT: Winners absolutely, unconditionally COMMIT to achieving that which they set out to accomplish. They create High Expectations and Execute Brilliantly. Winners understand the definition of the word "commitment" and keep their PROMISES to themselves and others. They understand that a COMMITMENT is a PLEDGE to DO... to become emotionally... spiritually... legally... mentally... and physically BOUND to action. Winers take ALL their commitments seriously.

PROACTIVE COURAGE: Winners have the COURAGE TO ACT... to take the actions necessary to overcome human inertia and their circumstances — real AND self-imposed — and to make every single minute matter. While they too have a fair amount of good old fear, uncertainty and doubt... they ACT in spite of it... Proactively Engaging their Courage.

We have found that the reason people lose out on ever-present opportunities... lose out in their careers and in their relationships... is that they have become the diametric opposite of Winners: Total lack of CLARITY about their direction and purpose in life... a total lack of CONVICTION about what they are doing and why they are doing it (CONFUSION not CONVICTION rules their lives)... a total lack of COMMITMENT to that which is most important to them... and worse... they are constantly running in circles, chasing after the same old hopes and dreams — month after month... year after year — that they are so stressed-out and burned-out that there is simply no room for good old fashioned COURAGE.

If I am hitting home right now, don't think I am picking on you. I'm sorry if I have hurt your feelings. This isn't my intention.

Getting your attention is my intention.

No sugarcoating it. You have a simple choice.

Release your hidden potential and become a winner...

Or do nothing, and see where you end up.

Believe It and See It!

Believing You Can
A young man fell asleep during math class. He woke up as the bell rang, looked at the blackboard, and copied down the two problems that were there. He assumed they were the homework for the night. He went home and labored the rest of the afternoon and into the evening knowing if he didn't complete the work he would surely fail the class.

He couldn't figure out either one but he kept trying for the rest of the week. Finally, he got the answer to one and brought it to class. The teacher was absolutely stunned. The boy feared he had done too little, too late. It turned out the problem he solved was supposedly unsolvable.

Power Commanders
How did he do it? He was able to do what was thought to be impossible because he believed it was possible. He not only believed it was possible, he believed that if he didn't solve it he would fail the class. Had he known the problem was unsolvable he could never have done it.

Beliefs are the commanders of our brain.When we believe something is true, we literally go into the state of its being true. Handled effectively, beliefs can be the most powerful forces for creating good in our lives.

The Birth of Excellence
Beliefs control our destiny: The belief we have in ourselves... the belief we have in our clients.. the belief others have in us. The birth of excellence begins with the awareness that our beliefs are a choice.

Beliefs are the compass and map that guide us to our goals. Believe you can do something -OR- believe you can't and you'll be right every time.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

More from ""

Requires Intensity Of Purpose.

A Time To Dream...
This weekend, take some time to renew your God-given right to dream!

Please remember, you have the opportunity to make your dreams real... to actually LIVE the life you desire.

The key is to turn your dreams into GOALS... your goals into PLANS... and your PLANS into specific ACTIONS.

Right now is the perfect time to reconnect and recommit to your goals and plans. This may be the most important 5 minutes you will spend this week! -- E.R. Haas, CEO

P.S. Some of the most successful people in the world use the above links weekly. Maybe you should too.

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Inspirational Story

A story to inspire you for the rest of your life

By Nithya Shanti
A story that could inspire you for the rest of your life...

Several times my daughter had telephoned to say,
"Mother, you must come to see the daffodils before they are over."
I wanted to go, but it was a two-hour drive from Laguna to Lake Arrowhead
"I will come next Tuesday",
I promised a little reluctantly on her third call.

Next Tuesday dawned cold and rainy.
Still, I had promised, and reluctantly I drove there.
When I finally walked into my daughter Carolyn's
house I was welcomed by the joyful sounds of happy children.
I delightedly hugged and greeted my grandchildren.

I told my daughter, "Forget the daffodils, Carolyn!
The road is invisible in these clouds and fog, and
there is nothing in the world except you and my grandchildren
that I want to see right now. I don't want to drive another inch!"

My daughter smiled calmly and said,
"We drive in this weather all the time, mother."

"Well, you won't get me back on the road until it clears,
and then I'm heading for home!" I assured her.

"But first we're going to see the daffodils.
It's just a few blocks," Carolyn said. "I'll drive. I'm used to this."

"Carolyn," I said sternly,

"It's all right, Mother, I promise.
You will never forgive yourself if you miss this experience."

So we went!
After about twenty minutes, we turned onto a small gravel road
and I saw a small church. On the far side of the church,
I saw a hand lettered sign with an arrow that read,

"Daffodil Garden ---->"

We got out of the car, each of us took a child's hand,
and I followed Carolyn down the path.
Then, as we turned a corner, I looked up and gasped.
Before me lay the most glorious sight.
It looked as though someone had taken
a great vat of gold and poured it over the mountain peak
and its surrounding slopes.

The flowers were planted in majestic,
swirling patterns, great ribbons
and swaths of deep orange,
creamy white, lemon yellow, salmon pink,
and saffron and butter yellow.
Each different-colored variety was planted
in large groups so that it swirled
and flowed like its own river with its own unique hue.

There were five acres of flowers!

"Who did this?" I asked Carolyn.
"Just one woman," Carolyn answered.
"She lives on the property. That's her home."
Carolyn pointed to a well-kept A-frame house,
small and modestly sitting in the midst of all that glory.

We walked up to the house.
On the patio, we saw a poster.

"Answers to the Questions I Know You Are Asking"
was the headline.

The first answer was a simple one. "50,000 bulbs," it read.

The second answer was, "One at a time, by one woman. Two hands, two feet, and one brain."

The third answer was, "Began in 1958."

For me, that moment was a life-changing experience.
I thought of this woman whom I had never met,
who, more than forty years before, had begun,
one bulb at a time, to bring her vision
of beauty and joy to an obscure mountaintop.

Planting one bulb at a time, year after year,
this unknown woman had forever changed
the world in which she lived.
One day at a time, she had created something
of extraordinary magnificence, beauty, and inspiration.

The principle her daffodil garden taught me
is one of the greatest principles of celebration.
That is, learning to move toward our goals and desires one step at a time.

"It makes me sad in a way," I admitted to Carolyn.
"What might I have accomplished
if I had thought of a wonderful goal thirty-five
or forty years ago and had worked away at it
'one bulb at a time' through all those years?

Just think what I might have been able to achieve!"
My daughter summed up the message of the day
in her usual direct way.

"Start tomorrow," she said.

She was right.
It's so pointless to think of the lost hours of yesterdays.
The way to make learning a lesson of celebration
instead of a cause for regret is to only ask,

"How can I put this to use today?"

The Daffodil Principle.

Stop waiting.....
Until your car or home is paid off
Until you get a new car or home
Until your kids leave the house
Until you go back to school
Until you finish school
Until you clean the house
Until you organize the garage
Until you clean off your desk
Until you lose 10 lbs.
Until you gain 10 lbs.
Until you get married
Until you get a divorce
Until you have kids
Until the kids go to school
Until you retire
Until summer
Until spring
Until winter
Until fall
Until you die...

There is no better time than right now to be happy.
Happiness is a journey, not a destination.
So work like you don't need money.
Love like you've never been hurt,
and, Dance like no one's watching.

If you want to brighten someone's day,
pass this on to someone special (like I did to you!)

Wishing you a beautiful, daffodil day!
Don't be afraid that your life will end,
be afraid that it will never begin.

- Author unknown
For more wisdom and inspiration join

More from ""

Pick up Your Pen -- Write Out the Details of Every Goal...

Do You Dislike Deadlines, But Love Lavish Rewards?

Make a deadline for your goal. Decide on a reward. Be sure to keep the former, and don't be stingy with the latter.

To make your goal a rewarding reality, reward every substantial step.

"Time is the most valuable thing a man can spend."~ Laertius Diogenes

Today's Quest...
What's your absolute favorite reward? _________________________________

How many additional rewards can you give for the successful completion of your To Do List today? _________________________________

What's your next deadline? What additional reward could you create for making this deadline? _________________________________

Pursue Excellence ~ Reject Mediocrity Today. Choose Success over Failure. Eliminate the NEGATIVES driving your performance... accentuate your POSITIVES. Incorporate Today's TQ into your performance and you will achieve the SUCCESS you desire... a great deal sooner. Learn more...

Thursday, January 22, 2009


Your TQ Challenge for Wednesday, January 21, 2009: Immediately Produce Better Results by DOING TQ Attitude Factor 3a Today...

Take Full Responsibility for How Your Day Works Out...

Missing Something?

If you feel something's lacking in your life, don't promise yourself you'll start on it "later" when conditions are better. Start now.

"Whatever you can do or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now!" - Goethe

"The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can't find them, make them."~ George Bernard Shaw

Today's Quest...
What's one thing you've wanted to add to your life but haven't yet?

Where in today's schedule can you get started on that project you never seem to find time for?

What do you always dream of?

Immediately Produce Better Results Today. TQ is the Gold Standard measurement of your Working Intelligence"... your POWER to produce consistently greater Results over Time. Incorporate Today's TQ into your performance and you will achieve the SUCCESS you desire... a great deal sooner. Learn more...

The Meaning of Life

"The life of the individual only has meaning insofar as it aids in making the life of every living thing nobler and more beautiful. Life is sacred that is to say, it is the supreme value to which all other values are subordinate."
Albert Einstein

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

"I will study and get ready, and perhaps my chance will come."

—Abraham Lincoln
"Kill the snake of doubt in your soul, crush the worms of fear in your heart, and mountains will move out of your way." - Kate Seredy

Being Creative Keeps Us Young!

How Creativity Keeps Us Ageless
Four tips to unleash your creative energies and counter the effects of aging in the process.
BY: Stephen Ruppenthal

Have you ever thought that giving yourself the time to do that sketch or write that short story might help you stay younger? Studies have shown there is indeed a vital relationship between creative expression and healthy aging. When we draw and paint, we delve deep into the springs of vitality, increasing our sense of self-worth, determination, and achievement. But the University of Kentucky’s Prof. David Snowdon, who tracked the health of 678 Catholic nuns over 70 in his important Alzheimer’s study, showed us much more: he was once given a ceramic sculpture by one of the nuns, Sister Esther Boor, who had taken up ceramics at age 97. When asked by Snowdon to join his project, Sister Esther had originally told him, “I’m too busy with my art to take part in a study of old people." She was not aware of growing older, and she passed away at 107.

All of us know that, when deep in the process creating a short story, a painting, a new business, or an invention, time seems to stand still. Creating something totally new freshens our whole system and frees us from limitations that otherwise can hold us down and drain us of life. Here are four ways you can counter the effects of aging by unleashing your creative energies, testing your own powers of making new things, and breaking through to new solutions:

1. Just start, don’t think. If you feel too emotionally drained or just plain blocked, get a pad of paper and pour out all the nagging resentments, fears, and worries that block you from starting an important project. Acknowledging feelings can enable us to move past them and really get started. This, of course, also means dedicating ample time and space for the creative work. A friend of mine had trouble realizing his gifts until he freed enough time to tinker in his garage. Now he exhibits dozens of motor scooters, cars, and even a bread truck, all artistically converted to brightly painted electric-powered vehicles. I ask him how old he is and he says it’s tough to keep track.

2. Try making your own environment a work of art. And while you’re at it, have some fun! We all start with a blank slate in our living space. Whether you reorganize your office, redecorate your home, enrich your relationships, or beautify your yard, let these efforts mirror the best and most beautiful in you. My wife and I purchased five very barren acres some years back and have since spent every spare minute we have planting flowering herbs, luscious berries, stately fruit trees, and hardy landscaping bushes. In comparatively little time, the parched landscape has given way to lush green views in all directions. And inside, a neglected, ramshackle farmhouse now boasts rich French country colors on all its walls. Don’t be afraid to test your creativity in playful ways, even if you muff it and have to start over. The playful energy all of us have not far beneath the surface helps us feel young and free, regardless of our body’s age.

3. Follow your highest hopes and dreams. Strangely enough, researchers who investigate longevity are finding old age can be a peak period for more, not less, creativity. "We always think of winding down in old age," says Judith Salerno, Britain’s deputy director for the National Institute on Aging. "We need to begin thinking about late life as an opportunity for people to explore." So in the years that used to be considered old age and dotage, now we see experience as an incalculably rich resource. Don’t settle for a shut-down life where the resources of youth are just vain memories; tap your rich experience, whether through art, invention, social service, or transformation of the environment. A higher number of age will only mean you can realize your highest potential and develop talents you never knew you possessed.

4. Dedicate time each day to creative projects, and have faith in yourself. Whether your gift is to be a writer, painter, actor, or a healer of personal relationships, you need to devote time to it every day. “But I can’t do it,” people say, “it’s too big!” So just try breaking your larger projects into smaller, more manageable pieces. As St. Francis says, “Small beginnings, greater ends.” Don’t try to write the whole novel or you will clam up and get scared. Maybe today you will just write one paragraph or carve one lock of hair onto your sculpture, but that will unlock your greater resources. Over time, something will just lift you up. A power coming from deep within you will fill in the blanks, making the universe—and yourself—richer, more beautiful, and full of the wealth of creative life that has no age.

Reprinted from DirectAwakenings with permission.

Dr. Stephen Ruppenthal is the author of 'The Path of Direct Awakening: Passages for Meditation' and 'Keats and Zen', among other books. He is an international workshop leader in passage meditation and specializes in end-of-life spiritual care.

Postive Self Talk

I checked out the link about self talk that was advertised on my blog (above):
It reminded me of a book I had on Positive Self Talk. I was working with teens who had run away or were having problems, i.e. getting in trouble with the law. I met the author. I will try to find it, but basically he said to take the negative self talk and turn it around. In other words, if you tell yourself you're stupid. Turn it around and say something like "I am an intelligent human being." Preferably, write it down and keep repeating it to yourself until it is ingrained in your being.
The guy on the site recorded it. He says he lost four lbs. just playing the tape every morning while shaving! And he said his wife did too!
What we tell ourselves IS very important. It makes us who we are. SO, erase that negative self talk that is recorded in your head from the time you were born and replace it with POSITIVE SELF TALK.
Your life will change so much, you won't believe the old life was you.

Zig Ziglar's Formula for Success



The logo didn't come out, but type in this link and check out all the free images.
Actually, they ask for a donation of ONLY $10/year. It's a bargain!
put this logo on your website /blog and link to
right click image and save pic to your folder

Burning Desire

"There is one quality which one must possess to win, and that is definiteness of purpose, the knowledge of what one wants, and a burning desire to possess it." ~ Napoleon Hill

Sunday, January 18, 2009

More from ""

Actively Recruit Others to Help...

Anybody Else Want To Play?

There are incredibly talented people willing and able to participate in your dream. They only need your vision, your direction and your appreciation. Together, there's nothing you can't do.

Great dreams are never accomplished alone.

"Successful people are successful because they form the habits of doing those things that failures don't like to do."~ Albert Gray

From "Finger Pointing to the Moon

Reflection on the past year
This is a wonderful exercise to do on New Year’s Eve, but you
can do it any time during the year. Spend 45-60 minutes reflecting
on the past year. Specifically make note on the following
pages of:
• Your three most important accomplishments of the past year;
• Your most important joys and sorrows;
• Three things you learned;
• Three people who supported you (and specifically what they did);
• Twenty five ways in which your life is blessed;
• Three gifts or services you gave to others;
• Three things you regret not doing;
• Three pieces of unfinished business.

Calendar the Major Milestones of Every Goal


Calendar the Major Milestones of EVERY Goal...

How Can You Build More Celebration Into Your Life?

A properly set goal contains a series of objectives built into it.

Objectives bring clarity where there's fuzziness, scheduling them brings them into reality.

"Without goals, and plans to reach them, you are like a ship that has set sail with no destination."~ Fitzhugh Dodson

Today's Quest...
How many separate goals will it take to reach your ultimate career goal? _________________________________

What's the next objective on the path to this month's goal? _________________________________

What will your A1 objective be tomorrow?

Saturday, January 17, 2009


"Change, however, does not occur magically. It represents individual and collective pioneering efforts. You can still choose to be a pioneer? And I hope you will do so."

—Stephen Breyer

Monitor Your Energy Level

Your TQ Challenge for Saturday, January 17, 2009: Achieve Greater Success by DOING TQ Energy Factor 1a Today...

Continuously Monitor Your Energy Level to Your Current Performance...

So How'd You Feel When You Left Work Yesterday?

Peak performance demands that you control, pace, and renew your energy on a continous basis throughout the day. You simply can't start with a charged battery each morning, run it down all day, and expect to completely recharge it overnight.

Peak power results from self-awareness and self maintenance -- not self-abuse.

"I've always felt it was not up to anyone else to make me give my best."~ Akeem Olajuwon

Today's Quest...
When you get home and turn into a lump, what are you missing out on? _________________________________

What time is a consistently low energy point in your day? _________________________________

What will you do to energize yourself before your next appointment? _________________________________

Achieve Greater Success Today. Dead stop the FEAR of success... the FEAR of failure... the FEAR of the future. Take SMARTER actions more consistently. Incorporate Today's TQ into your performance and you will achieve the SUCCESS you desire... a great deal sooner. Learn more...

At this link, TQ Gold Members will find 21 more powerful ideas for action to help them DO Energy Factor 1a: Continuously Monitor Your Energy Level to Your Current Performance...

Love Yourself Unconditionally

How Do I Love Me?
The secret to finding true love begins with you.
BY: Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway

It is so important that we nourish ourselves -- body, mind and spirit -- and treat ourselves like goddesses. Being kind to oneself is a healthy habit to get into, and the best way to get into the groove is to set aside "Goddess Time" each week for you, and you alone!
We give so much to others, why be stingy with ourselves? Whether in a relationship, hoping to be, or simply enjoying single life, a date with ones self is a powerful metaphor for self-nourishment. And it is the first and most important step toward a balanced, loving relationships with others.

Where to begin? Imagine there is someone in your life you can depend on to pamper, heal and revitalize you, and treat you royally -- for at least a few undisturbed hours each week. Now, imagine that "someone" is YOU. Pick something that would bring you great pleasure -- an activity, an experience, or a material gift -- and agree to give it to yourself.

Start off with something simple. Try a "self-love bath." Crown yourself Queen for a Day or Goddess for several hours a week -- and pamper yourself. Buy beautiful candles, scented oils, flowers. Draw a bath. Play relaxing and sensual music. Slip into the warm water, daydream and allow yourself to bask in the energy of love. It truly creates an impression in your own mind and spirit that you are someone who deserves royal treatment and who is willing to receive it! I cannot tell you how much a simple act of self-love will bring you closer to receiving pampering from others. At the most basic level -- a nice warm bath with candles is very relaxing and it gives you a chance to meditate. and get a new perspective on life.

How do I love me, let me count the ways. Other simple delights include: light a candle and relax in a favorite chair for 15 minutes; take yourself to a movie, out to dinner or to a museum exhibit you've been meaning to see; buy yourself a small gift. The best way to keep your soul nourished is to create an ongoing environment for this nourishment.

Date yourself regularly: Many of us take time out for ourselves just once in awhile and neglect to create the foundation for ongoing revitalization. Why not carve out time and put things in order so that you can access these experiences of self-love and care, regularly. This may mean keeping your favorite bath oil and candles on hand at all times. or ensuring that you have several hours a week alone, to yourself. Think of it this way. if you were dating someone special, wouldn't you go out of your way to make dates and focus attention on the relationship? Do it for yourself, first. this sets the groundwork for others to treat you like the goddess you are!

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Tips for a Better Life

Tips for a better life
25 photos
By Nithya Shanti
Tips for Better Life

1. Take a 10-30 minutes walk every day. And while you walk, smile.
2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
3. Sleep for 7 hours.
4. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.
5. Play more games.
6. Read more books than you did the previous year.
7. Make time to practice meditation, yoga, and prayer. They provide us with daily fuel for our busy lives.
8. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
9. Dream more while you are awake.
10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
11. Drink plenty of water.
12. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
13. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip.
14. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
15. Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
16. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
17. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
18. Smile and laugh more.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
20. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
21. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
22. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
23. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about. Don't compare your partner with others.
24. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
25. Forgive everyone for everything.
26. What other people think of you is none of your business.
27. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
28. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
29. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
30. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
31. The best is yet to come.
32. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
33. Do the right thing!
34. Call your family often.
35. Your inner most is always happy. So be happy.
36. Each day give something good to others.
37. Don't over do. Keep your limits.
38. Share this with someone you care about (Click the "Share" link below)

For more on wonderful happiness ideas, please join the group "The Happiest Day of Your Life"

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

An Attitude of Gratitude

Develop An Attitude Of Gratitude
How To Show Your Gratitude For Others
By Elizabeth Harrell

Why show gratitude? Is it just the right thing to do, or does it have some other intrinsic value? Demonstrating sincere gratitude takes energy and thought, and having an attitude of gratitude requires the conscious effort of being thankful. So how can practicing gratitude have a permanent effect on you and those around you? Read on to find out.

When someone expresses thankfulness, it not only impacts the receiver, but it also has benefits for the one giving thanks. Recognizing the blessings in your life and acting upon them regularly increases your awareness and appreciation. Sharing your gratitude improves your quality of life because it can only result in positive emotions. Learning to appreciate what you have also makes life more valuable and meaningful.

Being Grateful to Those Who Light the Flame
Albert Schweitzer, the Nobel Peace Prize recipient, once said, “At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us.”

Everyone hits rough spots – and some people seem to survive avalanches – but often, other people are sent our way to rekindle our faith and keep us from despair. Who are the people in your life who deserve gratitude for supporting you when you needed it most?

Being Thankful For a New Opportunity
Each day we’re given a new chance to make a difference in the world. Until we are gone, there is always hope of finding happiness. Meister Eckhart, a German theologian from the 13th century, wrote: “If the only prayer you said your whole life was ‘thank you’ that would suffice.”
By maintaining an attitude of gratitude with each new day, you develop the habit of appreciating what you have instead of dwelling on what you don’t have. You’ll have more peace and joy because your outlook begins on a positive note. You’ll also handle challenges differently if you begin with an appreciative mindset.

Modeling Gratitude
Saying “thank you” isn’t tough for most people. Modeling a spirit of gratitude takes much more effort, and a shift in thinking is the first step.

Acting on thoughts of gratefulness is more challenging. People who model gratitude don’t take others for granted. They don’t make assumptions about how other people should treat them or what others should do for them. They don’t walk around with a sense of entitlement, feeling they are owed more from the world.

Sometimes we get so focused on our “rights” that we forget to be gracious and appreciative of what we really do have. When modeling gratitude, we develop an awareness of appreciating small everyday experiences. For example, you might be quick to complain when traffic, making it hard to get to work on time. However, do you appreciate days when the lights seem to all work in your favor? Frustration comes from unmet expectations, but gratitude results in not having expectations and truly finding the joy in whatever comes your way. This is not a typical thought process for Americans, who are so used to getting what they “deserve” just like everyone else. However, modeling gratitude will attract others to you and improve your overall attitude. Children who observe grateful parents learn to be thankful. Bosses who demonstrate a spirit of gratitude will find that their employees are more grateful.
John F. Kennedy expressed it eloquently when he said, “As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.”

When to Express Gratitude
At times it is obvious that gratitude should be expressed, such as when someone does you a favor or gives you a gift. But there are many other times to be grateful; times we normally take for granted. Here are a few examples:

* When children behave.
You might be thinking, children should behave, and that’s true. But demonstrating gratitude for their good behavior will only promote more of the same.

* When someone does a job well.
I have tracked down managers to let them know when a store clerk treats me kindly or just has a great attitude. I try to express my gratitude in front of the employee with the manager to ensure the employee hears it.

If you have a housekeeper or lawn service, add extra payment or treat them to home-baked cookies occasionally to express your appreciation for their continued good work. I have a friend who leaves soda and snacks on top of her trashcan for the garbage collectors each week. Who thinks to thank the garbage collector?
* When your spouse goes to work every day.
It’s so easy to accept the benefits of your spouse’s income without ever really saying, “I really appreciate how hard you work for our family.” Even if your spouse doesn’t thank you for doing the same, be the bigger person. You might see a change of attitude.

* When friends or family members do you a favor.
It’s especially easy to overlook close friends and family when it comes to being gracious. We get so used to some people being there for us that we can’t imagine them not doing so. Maybe a friend picks up your daughter from dance, or your sister babysits your children. Think about those people in your life who are there in a pinch or regularly make your life a little easier.

* Good neighbors.
Even if you’re not close friends with your neighbors, appreciate how nice their lawns look, how they never throw loud parties and how they drive through the neighborhood at a respectable speed.

How to Express Your Gratitude
There are many ways to say “thank you,” but the best ways are those that have some thought behind them. Make a fabulous sugarless dessert for someone who is diabetic. Edge your neighbor’s yard the next time you do yours. Surprise your children with a trip to the movies or the local ice cream shop. Give your spouse time to do whatever he enjoys most, or create a romantic evening unexpectedly.
Clean your single sister’s apartment while she’s gone for the day. Bring baked goods to the librarian who is always so sweet to your children.

Tracking Gratitude
I keep a “blessings” journal where I simply list those people and things that I am grateful for in my life. Much of the time, I carry it in my purse to make notes even when I’m not at home. Sometimes when I think of a person I’d like thank, I make a note of it, including a nice way to express my gratitude. If I don’t write it down, it will never happen. As the journal gets full, it’s fun to look back and see all of the ways I’vw been blessed. It’s easy to feel gratitude when you see your life in those terms.

Do You Know Your Strengths And Weaknesses?
Chances are you've taken tests or have had interviews where you were asked to detail your strengths and weaknesses. It can be hard to pinpoint exactly what your strengths and weaknesses are, but you can do it. Find out where your inner strength comes from by taking this quiz.

Plan, plan, plan

Plan your hours to be productive? Plan your weeks to be educational? Plan your years to be purposeful. Plan your life to be an experience of growth. Plan to change. Plan to grow.

—Iyanla Vanzant

From Oprah

Oprah's Focus for 2009

What I Know for Sure

When it comes to maintaining my health, I didn't just fall off the wagon. I let the wagon fall on me. I didn't follow my own fundamental rule of taking care of self first.

My personal philosophy and the philosophy of this magazine is all about living well, filling your own cup so you always have bounty to share with others. And the price I've paid for losing sight of that is more weight. No balance. Less joy.

Everything I know for sure about maintaining a sense of balance and well-being, I allowed to be pushed aside to make room for whatever was masquerading as a priority. I took myself off my to-do list; whatever time was left over is what I gave myself.

Which is how we got here—to the "falling off the wagon" issue.

The first things to go were meditation and gratitude journaling. I had a ritual of morning prayer and meditation, but because I was spending so many nights watching the clock—1:14…3:23…knowing I had to get up at 5:30 and going into panic mode—I eventually became too exhausted to meditate. Same thing for journaling. Then I abandoned exercise. Long, luxurious baths were my big splurge, but ultimately even they got shorter. Too much to do to linger in the tub.

So now everybody's asking about my new plan to take the weight off. And here's what I've come to: My focus is no longer on the weight. My focus this year will be on how to achieve optimum health, get support when I need it, find ways to nurture myself, deepen my spiritual connection—and have some fun.

If I can shift the paradigm from weight to optimum health and well-being, I know for sure my best life is waiting to unfold.

My body is strong. I am grateful to it for having overcome the thyroid imbalance I had last year. I'm even grateful that I had the imbalance: yet another wake-up shake-up call to not take health for granted and to take better care of me.

I share my story with the hope that this year, you'll also be taking better care of you.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Let's Try It Again

Another New Year's Day
What do you think, Sherrie? According to the astronomically-based Julian calendar introduced by Julius Caesar (which was replaced by the modern Gregorian calendar), today is New Year's Day. So, if you've already fallen off the wagon on your resolutions, use this as your chance to start fresh! Capricorn is an Earth sign known for being ambitious, hardworking and organized. So in the midst of the advent of a new year, harness the Capricorn within and identify what needs to be done to make 2009 the year you actually do it. Today's a good day to put together a plan.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Nourish Your Spirit

Spirituality Check-Up
7 ways to nourish your spiritual self
by Jamie Nishi
Imagine that the spirit is a deep water well - one that always stays full, no matter how much is drawn from it. But because daily life is so demanding, many of us have not made time to visit the well and have become very, very thirsty. In today's world, this is not an uncommon phenomenon. Many people go through their daily lives suffering, simply because they have not gone to drink deeply of the clear, sweet waters of the spirit.
Nourishing the spirit isn't difficult - in fact, it's quite easy and pleasurable. What's difficult is making it a priority. In today's increasingly secular society, very little emphasis is placed on spiritual health and well-being. It's time to turn that around and join the many who have found out that making time for one's spiritual self will actually help you become a better, happier person all around. Your boss will notice it. Your partner, children and friends will notice it. But most importantly, you will notice that your thirst has been quenched, and this will allow you to feel more connected and to experience greater joy in everything you do.

Here are just a few ideas to get you started on a path to greater spiritual health.

Make a list of spiritual goals.
Do you want to be more patient with others, less stressed in your daily activities, feel closer to your god or self? Having a list will help you identify what activities will be the most beneficial for you.

Go for a walk in a walking-friendly place.
This could be the beach, a park or your own neighborhood. The slow rhythm of walking relaxes the body and mind, and allows you time to take notice of your surroundings - the flowers blooming in someone's garden or light shining on the water. Be sure to take deep breaths and sigh aloud if you need to. As you do this, you will experience walking more fully - the way you want to experience all the other activities in your life, even the fast-paced ones.
Spend the day in nature writing in your journal.
If you don't know where to begin, start with plain observation and see what evolves.Try to think in terms of sensory detail - what you see, what you smell, what you hear, what you feel. If anything else pops into your head, even if it seems unrelated, begin writing about it. Allow yourself free flow.
Connect with elders.
It's been an important facet of human development since ancient times. Talk with older members of your family or older friends. Ask them what their life was like when they were your age. You might learn some surprising things about them and about yourself!
Read a book or watch a DVD by your favorite spiritual author.
It could be something new or something you want to revisit. Spend just ten minutes a day with their words of wisdom.
Make silence a part of your everyday life.
Sit quietly for fifteen minutes in the morning or just before bedtime. Set yourself up with a candlelit bath. Do some gentle stretching, then lie down in a relaxing position for ten minutes and enjoy the flow of energy through your body. Even listening to meditation or relaxation music can be called silence, as long as you are really listening.
Take a class to focus your spiritual commitment.
Many yoga studios and even community colleges now offer classes with a focus on spiritual health, such as meditation, self-enrichment and even classes on topics such as the use of plant and flower essences. Check out your local studios and schools, and see if anything calls to you.
Spending any time alone can be one of the greatest spiritual activities of all!
Imagine that the spirit is a deep water well - one that always stays full, no matter how much is drawn from it. But because daily life is so demanding, many of us have not made time to visit the well and have become very, very thirsty. In today's world, this is not an uncommon phenomenon. Many people go through their daily lives suffering, simply because they have not gone to drink deeply of the clear, sweet waters of the spirit.

Nourishing the spirit isn't difficult - in fact, it's quite easy and pleasurable. What's difficult is making it a priority. In today's increasingly secular society, very little emphasis is placed on spiritual health and well-being. It's time to turn that around and join the many who have found out that making time for one's spiritual self will actually help you become a better, happier person all around. Your boss will notice it. Your partner, children and friends will notice it. But most importantly, you will notice that your thirst has been quenched, and this will allow you to feel more connected and to experience greater joy in everything you do!

Rise to the Challenge

"If we do not rise to the challenge of our unique capacity to shape our lives, to seek the kinds of growth that we find individually fulfilling, then we can have no security: We will live in a world of sham, in which our selves are determined by the will of others, in which we will be constantly buffeted and increasingly isolated by the changes round us." ~ Nena O'Neil

My Poem "The Space Between"

I don't know how she does it, but Jill Badonsky gets me to write poetry. Not just any poetry, but poetry that I love. And I don't even aspire to write poetry!
I just hope I am half as inspiring a coach as she is.

The Space Between
by Sherrie Miranda

Her life was the space between
the space that she thought was unimportant
the space where her love presided
the space where she slept and worked
and ate and laughed . . . and cried

She thought her life was the characters,
the titles, the degrees
She thought that her life was
what was to come, the someday fame,
the someday recognition,
but she had it all mixed up

Her life was the space between

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Do the Gratitude Dance

Do You Do the Gratitude Dance?
by Marjam VaherWhen was the last time you felt grateful for something?

Ok, and the last time you actually expressed your gratitude for something?

Scientific studies show that expressing gratitude on a daily basis literally makes people happier. Gratitude research by McCullough and Emmons revealed that only a small daily dose of gratitude makes you more alert, enthusiastic, determined, optimistic and energetic. Additionally - a grateful person feels less depression and stress, is likely to help others, exercises more regularly and makes more progress toward personal goals. And above all - grateful people are more likely to be loved.

And this ain’t some new age mumbo jumbo folks - this is from scientific studies!

Enter the Gratidudes…

Two guys that call themselves the GratiDudes have taken the whole concept to a higher level. They’re aiming to change the world by helping people to become more grateful with a funny Gratitude Dance. The video has already gained huge popularity in YouTube. The idea is simple - all you need to do is to write down the things you are grateful for, turn on the video and do the dance!

You have to watch it yourself, smiling and laughing is guaranteed! Showing your gratitude can be a lot of fun - and having fun is one of the ingredients of happyness!

Don’t forget to let us know how it worked (and what funny situations you ended up in)!

PS - that’s not all, the guys behind FinerMinds will be launching a new website soon that will give everyone a unique way to express gratitude to the world and to loved one. Check out It’s launching in a few days and this is the first public hint of it on the Internet.


Creating Positive Change
by Laurie Cameron
It's that time again ...have you made your New Year's Resolutions? Or are you like many well-intentioned people who have decided it's a losing battle and not worth the aggravation?

New Year's Resolutions are always filled with good intentions and hope for a better life this year than we had last year. But what happens when February rolls around and our good intentions have become a source of frustration and self-recrimination? There are many reasons why resolutions don't stick. See if any of these feel familiar:

Too big or too unrealistic; they create a sense of "Overwhelm-Induced Inertia."
Floating Resolutions; they're not attached to your vision.
Externally motivated; they're what someone else thinks you should do or want.
There's no detailed plan or strategy to reach them, they're all talk and no action; or your plan is too broad and not specific enough. Lack of motivation or follow-through.
Too rigid or absolute.
If you want to create positive change in your life, here are some strategies to help you increase your chances for success:

Choose a resolution that feels manageable, yet still challenges you.
Be sure your resolution or goal is clearly attached to your vision; achieving it will take you toward your vision rather than away from it.
Be clear that your resolution is something YOU want.
Have a plan that not only defines the major steps over time, but also the small, individual action steps you can take on a daily basis.
Create some system of accountability; enlist the help of a Buddy who is as motivated as you are.
As you work your plan, allow the process to evolve and be refined.
Step up and resolve to make it a powerful and fulfilling 2009!

Laurie Cameron is a Coach, Speaker, and Catalyst. She is a CTA Mentor Coach for the Certified Coach Program and author of the Sage and Scholar's Guide to Coaching Singles.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

"Success or failure depends more upon attitude than upon capacity." ~ Dupree Jordan

The Awe-manac & Other Badonsky Antics

Blog Tour Stop #2 The Slacker Method Site.

Jacques from sent these interview questions for the second stop on The Awe-manac Blog Tour: Take a look at his site... there's lots of fun, interesting and practical pieces of wisdom there and today's Awe-manac page is posted there. (It may be up this evening as Jacques is a busy Slacking).

Jacques: Thank you for your time in doing this interview.

1. The first question I want to ask is, who does all the cool artwork on your website?!

Hi Jacques. I do the art work at . My friend, Jeff Kahn, animated the illustration on the front page with Flash. Thanks for calling it cool. The Awe-manac has over 400 of my llustrations in it.

2. Let's address this book you have out in stores, The Awe-manac. Why do we want it, and Where do we get it?
Well, in Slacker terms, this would be a one-stop read for people who want a convenient place to get a dose of daily humor, a creativity prompt, a glimpse of history for the day, a little inspiration, a view of some art that was sometimes done on the fly, and a book heavy enough to press flowers when you're not reading it.

The reports I'm getting from the people who HAVE bought The Awe-manac is that it is a lot of fun and they are having a hard time reading just one page at a time, but don't take my word. There are some great testimonials at

You can conveniently and inexpensively get The Awe-manac at . at most Barnes and Nobles, and other bookstores.

3. As you know, our site is for Slackers, strange creatures with a habit for avoiding labor and clever anti-chore guerrilla tactics. In all seriousness though, if I can do a little bit of educating, I would want everyone to know that Slackers are people who have different priorities. We're intelligent, educated, creative, and we see often-times that solutions can become problematic in themselves. If you had one thing you could educate a Slacker on, what is it that you would say to them?

I would tell you about one of my favorite creativity principles and practices, one that I use frequently with clients, organizations and students called the Lull. I think Slackers would like it because it's all about how important doing nothing is in the creative process. Much to the productive society's dismay, in order to be creative we actually NEED downtime where subconscious connections can take place, where we can fill with what-if's, new data, and material that is processed, associated, collated and sent up to the conscious for those wonderful "aha" moments filled with ideas, solutions and short cuts. Zen, Gertrude, and Virginia agree with me on this one:

“Sitting quietly, doing nothing, spring comes, and the grass grows by itself.” ~Zen Proverb quotes

“It takes a lot of time to be a genius, you have to sit around so much doing nothing, really doing nothing.” ~Gertrude Stein

“Yet it is in our idleness, in our dreams, that the submerged truth comes to the top.” ~Virginia Woolf

4. Before we finish, tell us more about yourself, what you do, and your business, The Muse Is In.

I am a corporate drop-out (I worked in health care for 17 years). I saw working in the corporate world as problematic for my own Slacker lifestyle so I developed a company called The Muse is IN. I'm the boss and all the employees – our Christmas parties are quiet and low budget and I haven't embarrassed myself at the last two.
I invented and operationalized two trainings –
One that teaches people to facilitate creativity groups based on my first book: The Nine Modern Day Muses (and a Bodyguard): 10 Guides to Creative Inspiration;
and the second where I train people in a 14-week program called Kaizen-Muse Creativity Coaching to be creativity coaches. KMCC uses a non-linear approach that uses the power of small steps, play, imagination, LULLS, and in-session creative experiences to help anyone wanting to create something in their lives. We specialize in working with resistant people because the model is difficult not to enjoy and is successful in thwarting the frustration of procrastination, perfectionism, overwhelm, self-sabotage, and addictions to reality TV. Your column on actually making New Years resolutions achievable is very much along the lines of what I teach – it seems common sense, but people seem to go for the unrealistic expectation and then beat themselves up afterward.

Thanks for these great questions, Jacques. Your website is now a regular read and I will be practicing some of your Slacker methods today as a matter of fact.


Be Accountable

The Laws of Accountability
Tuesday January 6, 2009
ACCOUNTABILITY POWER: One of the most powerful principles you can follow in your quest to be the best you ever (as if you're not good enough already?????) is to follow the Laws of Accountability.

Accountability will keep you on track!
Just knowing that someone is going to ask you about your progress with your weight loss (or any other) goal can keep your fires burning bright and ensure that you stay steady the course.

How to Stay Accountable!

FIND YE AN ACCOUNTABILITY PARTNER: You cannot be accountable to yourself. It NEVER works. You need to partner with someone, a close friend, co-worker, a virtual buddy ... someone with whom you set a time and date to 'account' to every week. You don't have to make a big deal over it. You can e-mail each other; talk on the phone for a few minutes. But this is ONE INGREDIENT in your WEIGHT LOSS Recipe that is a must; no substitutions allowed!

WRITE DOWN YOUR GOALS. 75% of what we write down happens. It sets the brain in motion.


DECLARE IT. Tell people what you are going to achieve and by when (be realistic). If you are adamantly against declaring your weight loss goals to your family and friends, then find a group of people on-line that you do NOT know and tell them. Stand on your roof top and yell it to the world. I don't know how you will declare it, but I trust you will find a way to DECLARE IT TO BE SO.

CELEBRATE YOU. Jump up and down and celebrate how fabulous you are; how committed you are to yourself. How you keep on moving forward in the face of chocolate, the holidaze glaze, and life in general.

I INVITE YOU to be Accountable to Me!

Spread the word ... NOT the icing,

Janice Taylor is a Life & Wellness Coach, author, seminar leader and 50-pound-BIG-Time-LOSER! Write Janice for an Introductory Coaching Session.

For more motivation and inspiration, join the Kick in the Tush Club: Beliefnet Chapter.

Pick up a copy of Janice's latest: All Is Forgiven, Move ON ~ Our Lady of Weight Loss's 101 Fat-Burning Steps on Your Journey to Sveltesville!

" . . . . kooky genius ~ see if her idiosyncratic diet plan will work for you." ~ O, The Oprah Magazine

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Appreciate Your Gifts

Improving one's lot in life is a sign of health and growth. But we've got to be careful about always demanding some nonexistent perfection and learn instead to appreciate, to enhance what is in hand.

—Henry Miller

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

From Patty's Post

ENJOY...the love...the laughter...the dreams...the memories...
the possibilities...the creativity...the fun...the beginnings...the waves...
the greatness...the gratitude...the humbleness...the searching...the tears...the wonderment...
the magnificence...the abundance...the beauty...the growth...the happiness...the kindness...the nonsense...the openness...the real...the situations...the tenderness...the underlying messages...the fantastic...the holding on...the letting go...the family...
the friends...the net of hope...the belief...the connection.

Artfully Yours,

(It was much prettier on her post, lots of colors, etc.)
Anyone know why I can put websites, etc. anymore? And why I can't use color, bold, etc. anymore?

Blissmas Begins

Hi Blissmas Babes (that's me),

Here’s our website: bodyblissmas.

Reminders from last night’s call:

What would you like to drink?

Can I get you desert?
I’M GOOD [and you are!]


mmmmm, carrots.

Emotional Eating Cure

Tuesday December 30, 2008
Categories: emotional eating, healthy living, inspiration, motivation, weight loss
What is the single most common, biggest, most overwhelming and likely to occur challenge when it comes to weight loss?

Emotional Eating!
It takes more than a good plan, good intentions, and basic nutritional information to override the emotional tsunamis that roll over and through us without turning to food.

Managing difficult situations and feelings effectively is a big part of what we are doing here. Emotional eating has all to do with the mind; little to do with the food.

There are many proactive measures that we can take to get a hold of our emotions and ground ourselves. These actions range from relaxation techniques such as meditation, yoga, breathing to turning to our message board for support.

However, these actions take time. After all, you don't always have the time to take a hot bath or a long walk in the middle of emotional upheaval.

Here follows a 3-step CURE! Yes, follow these three easy steps and you can get past the emotional roller coaster, hold your ground and learn something about yourself in the process.

Step 1: Stay Grounded

Emotional eating happens when you lose your connection to your grounded self.

Nine times out of ten, emotional eating is triggered by a 'mind storm' of thoughts. Chances are that your mind is caught in a web of worst-case scenarios, projections into the future, and misinterpretations of a situation. In addition buttons have been pushed, and who knows what else. You are in overdrive.

This emotional tsunami turns what may have been a relatively simple challenge into something that feels overwhelming. Feelings of fear or shame can surface. All of which can send sending you running into the kitchen or the vending machine.

The objective is to stay grounded in the moment of stress, thus giving you space to get a grip and move away from food.

Here are a few simple things you can do at a moment's notice that can help to keep you grounded the next time your switches are flipped, your buttons are pushed and/or you are spiraling out of control.

BREATHE. Take in a few deep breaths. It is truly amazing how powerful breathing can be.

LOOK. Take a look around, noticing and naming the colors and shapes in the space around you. Thus, occupying your mind long enough for you to calm own.

NOTICE PHYSICAL SENSATION. You might note that your jaw is clenched, or that your stomach has that all too familiar sinking feeling.

It is a simple technique, and it works. If you stay in your body and in the moment, you are no longer inside your head and you can ground yourself.

Step 2: Reality Check

Now that you are calm enough to think clearly and productively you can make note of your thought patterns, and when necessary, turn them around.

Black and White Thinking

Example: You go over your calorie limit and/or eat something that you theoretically "should not," and then you decide to keep eating because you've already "blown it" for the day. You are on a downward spiral, feeling guilty, not liking yourself.

Reality: Weight loss is not a one-day event. If you stop overeating now, you'll gain less and have less to re-lose later. That's something to feel good about!

Your Interpretation: Reading your own thoughts into someone else's words.

Example: Someone made a remark that feels critical or unsupportive, and you begin to unravel and feel distressed, distraught and devastated.

Reality: Did the other person mean to be critical? Or was it your own feelings about yourself surfacing? Are you overreacting? When you are secure and happy with yourself, what others say won't matter nearly as much.

Feeling Badly for Others

Example: Something is going badly for someone you care about, and you feel responsible, or pressured to fix it.

Reality: It's not up to you to fix things. You are responsible for your own life.

Step 3: Putting Things Into Perspective

One of the most valuable tools you can learn in weight loss and life is to keep things in perspective.

Most common problems that you face in everyday life are much easier to handle when you keep them in perspective.

Here are some questions you can ask yourself to make sure you aren't in the mountain-making business:

Does this problem fall into the "this too shall pass" category? Or Not? If it does, GREAT! If not, you've got a real problem!

Do I need to make a decision about this right now? Or can I let it play out a bit, giving me enough time to get perspective?

Am I worrying about something that may not even happen?

Do I have all the information I need to decide how to respond to this?

Do I really know what's going on here, or am I making assumptions?

Am I worrying about things that might not even happen?

What do I need to check out before taking action?

Is there anything I can do right now that will change or help this situation?

Am I trying to control something I can't, like what other people think, say, or do?

Have I really thought through this problem, and broken it down into manageable pieces I can handle one-at-a-time?

Use this approach whenever your thoughts or situations begin to feel overwhelming, and you'll quickly find that the mountains that seem impossible at first can quickly morph into what they really are--manageable hills that you DO have the ability to climb. All it takes is three little minutes of your time.

Spread the word ... NOT the icing!
Janice Taylor is a Life & Wellness Coach, author, seminar leader and 50-pound-BIG-Time-LOSER!

For more motivation and inspiration, join the Kick in the Tush Club: Beliefnet Chapter.

Pick up a copy of Janice's latest: All Is Forgiven, Move ON ~ Our Lady of Weight Loss's 101 Fat-Burning Steps on Your Journey to Sveltesville!

Tuesday, January 6, 2009


I really like this quote. Life shouldn't be about knowing exactly what's going to happen.

"Uncertainty and mystery are energies of life. Don't let them scare you unduly, for they keep boredom at bay and spark creativity." ~R. I. Fitzhenry

Our Thoughts Create Us

Something to ponder:
“Thinking creates an image. Images control feelings. Feelings cause actions and actions create results.”
Leland Val Vandewall

Giving Thanks Keeps Us Healthy!

The Power of Gratitude
An expert tells why giving thanks is good for your health.
By Stephen Post, PhD
Cleveland, Ohio

I’m a researcher. As a professor of bioethics at Case Western Reserve University’s School of Medicine, I deal in facts. I’m also a father and a husband—a man blessed with a rich family life. Like many researchers, I’ve always felt that my clinical and my personal lives were two different things. Two different worlds, really.

Then, in 2001, I created a research group called the Institute for Research on Unlimited Love (IRUL), dedicated to testing and measuring the effects of love and other positive caring emotions in human life. Our findings surprised me, as I think they will you. Our studies have shown that love-related qualities—like gratitude—actually make us physically healthier.

The implications of this research have changed the way I look at my life all year ’round, but they’re especially meaningful to me during the holiday season. Here are five discoveries from our work at IRUL to keep in mind as you gather together to give thanks with your loved ones.

1. Gratitude Defends
Just 15 minutes a day focusing on the things you’re grateful for will significantly increase your body’s natural antibodies.

2. Gratitude Sharpens
Naturally grateful people are more focused mentally and measurably less vulnerable to clinical depression.

3. Gratitude Calms
A grateful state of mind induces a physiological state called resonance that’s associated with healthier blood pressure and heart rate.

4. Gratitude Strengthens
Caring for others is draining. But grateful caregivers are healthier and more capable than less grateful ones.

5. Gratitude Heals
Recipients of donated organs who have the most grateful attitudes heal faster.

Stephen Post, PhD, is the author of Why Good Things Happen to Good People. Check out for more on his research and order his book at


"Forgiveness is the key to action and freedom. - Hannah Arenda

I totally believe this!

Oprah Says

It's 2009... Do you know where your life is? Whatever you're up for--or up against--we're here to help.

"The secret of making something work in your lives is, first of all, the deep desire to make it work; then the faith and belief that it can work; then to hold that clear definite vision in your consciousness and see it working out step by step, without one doubt or disbelief."
—Eileen Caddy



January 6, 2009

Dear Sherrie,

Many of the problems that plague artists can be traced back to common old garden-variety laziness. I'm an authority on the subject. Early identified, this malaise has plagued me for a lifetime (my grade three report card stated "Bobby has lazy habits"), I've also devised various ploys to cure it. People are always telling me I'm the most un-lazy person they know. I've also devised various ploys to cure it. People are always telling me I'm the most un-lazy person they know.

How have I managed to fool them? Some say I've programmed myself like a zombie. I go about my interests, they say, like an automaton. I tell them I'm contented in my zombiehood.

But that's not the whole story. Like a lot of teenagers, I found myself wasting a lot of time. I had to teach myself respect for time. If you too feel you might have a touch of sloth, here are a few ploys you might find useful:

To become enthusiastic, act enthusiastically.

Retrain to the better habits you know you can have.

Keep track of time and pay attention to the clock.

Know that acquired proficiency breeds love of work.

Count your jobs completed, not your time spent.

Reprogram regularity into your life.

See the value in what you're doing.

Be a loving collector of your own accomplishments.

Unfortunately, in spite of all this picker-upper stuff, it's important to keep in mind that what appears to be laziness or lassitude may be the result of clinical depression. Depressed people can have trouble with willpower. This may call for professional help.

Recent research at the University of Miami indicates that religious people tend to score higher in the exercise of willpower. It seems that the regular act of prayer or meditation gives the brain a sort of anaerobic workout in self-control. It may not be the content of the prayer or even the particular deity involved that tunes people up. Apparently it's the regularity of the act and the committed repetition. A good example is the Muslim ritual of facing Mecca and kneeling on a prayer rug five times a day. Reading a different encyclopedia article at proscribed intervals might do the trick for some folks. For many of us, it means the formalized and regular act of entering the cathedral of our studios and rebooting ourselves at the altar of our easels.

Best regards,


PS: "He who would not be idle, let him fall in love." (Ovid) "Work is love made visible." (Kahlil Gibran)

Esoterica: For many artists, particularly the overly thoughtful and imaginative ones, self-sabotage can be a big boo-boo. Procrastination, avoidance activity and general lying around are some of the symptoms. If you look at the big picture, you may see yourself as a minor player, but it's also possible to see and hold dear the sacred value of each individual's life and times, yours in particular. With this view, simply making a contribution lets work-effort seem worthwhile and even inevitable.

Monday, January 5, 2009

Key to Success

January 2, 2009
Becoming Just Awesome Part 9: Finding Role Models To Achieve Success In All Areas of Your Life in 2009
by Michelle RogersHappy New Year everyone! 2009 is here, and so is Part 9 in our 19-part FinerMinds series on Becoming Just Awesome. The weather may be cold and dreary where you’re living, but January, the first month of the New Year, represents an awesome opportunity for reflection, planning and action. There’s nothing dreary about that.

This week is all about the power of a good role model and how modeling their behavior can help you achieve your goals.

From the time you were a wee sprout crawling about your parents ankles, you were absorbing information about how to be and act in the world through observing your parents. For better or for worse, you learned a multitude of attitudes, beliefs and practices around such things as money, love, food, stress, communication, work, etc. And all of this learning was unconscious – you simply started to model them.

I imagine many of you have since reflected on this modeling process. You’ve reflected on your patterns of thinking and behaving as a function of the individuals who raised you. Some patterns have probably served you very well; others have probably not. That’s life.

The point here is not to level blame at your parents for your bad habits. Ruminating on the past and playing the blame game is not going to move you forward towards greater success, happiness and inner peace.

What is important is to understand how this modeling behavior works, because it is such a powerful force in how we learn and pick up new ways of being. You can consciously harness modeling to propel you towards your personal and professional goals.

How You Can Harness
the Power of a Good Role Model
1. Identify the Area You Want to Improve
The first step is to identify the skills, characteristics or patterns of thinking and behaving you want to improve. It can be one area or many. But try not to have too many areas or it can be overwhelming for you. For example, someone might have four areas they want to work on: 1) confidence and leadership; 2) physical and mental health and well-being; 3) financial management; and 4) relationships.

2. Choose Your Role Models
Chances are if you’ve identified an area you need to work on, you’ve done some thinking about this. You’re cognizant this area isn’t your strong suit. You’re also probably aware of individuals who possess these qualities or skills. Who do you admire and look up to when think about each area you want to improve? For each area, identify a role model. They can be individuals who you communicate with everyday – colleagues or even your partner – or individuals who you know through the media, whether CEOs, athletes, authors, educators, etc. And you may even harbor a smidgen of envy and resentment towards them. They have what you desperately want. Try to manage this. See these individuals as a golden opportunity to help you achieve what you desire. A final word: As much as you can, make sure your role models mirror your own core values (e.g. kindness, respect and compassion for others) or else it will make modeling them a disheartening endeavor.

3. Study What They Do
Consciously put your role model under the microscope. Really observe how they navigate through their lives – how they carry themselves, act and make decisions – particularly when it comes to the area you admire. You’re in luck if you get to encounter your role model on a day-to-day basis. But if you admire a public figure, try to learn as much as you can about this person through books and other media. For example, if you hold a certain famous person’s public speaking ability in high esteem, watch as many speeches as you can and take notes. How do they stand? Where do they look? How fast are they speaking? How do they grab the audience’s attention? How do they make their message come alive through the content of their speech? Breakdown what the person does, so you can work on these different components and model what they do.

4. Be Them
Yes, the idea of ‘being’ your role model might seem a bit odd. Of course you should always strive to be authentically you, but a little bit of acting every now and then can be a positive exercise. If you’re experiencing a moment where the abilities or skills that your role model possesses would come in handy, simply pretend you’re your role model. Channel this person – imagine what this person would feel like and then do what this person would do. You take the focus off of you (and the negative expectation you have built up about yourself in this area) and instead adopt a positive, confident frame of reference. Over time, this exercise will allow you to increase your confidence until it is actually you who possesses these traits and abilities.

5. From Role Model to Mentor
If you’re fortunate enough to have your role model within reach, make the effort to get to know them better. Ask them to have lunch with you or to go for coffee. And by all means ask them questions about how they do what they do. Chances are they will be completely flattered, and you’ll get the inside scoop on how they got to where they are today – you’ll learn about their influences, techniques, experiences, etc. Here’s another thing they’ll likely disclose: they too had role models and mentors along the way, individuals who guided and taught them. If you have more questions than you can cover in the span of a lunch break, ask this person if you can get together every so often to talk about the area you’re interested in. They’ll likely relish the good fortune of having someone to pass on their wisdom to.


I am grateful to be back to my everyday life again. The holidays are wonderful . . . well, at least this one was. I saw a lot of family, ate more than I should have of foods that I should be avoiding and did a lot of local and shor-distant traveling. BUT it feels so good to get back to a more tranquil life. Does anyone else feel this way about the holidays?

Trust Your Senses

Learn to Trust Your Senses

Accept the pain, cherish the joys, resolve the regrets, then can come the best of benedictions: "If I had my life to live over, I'd do it all the same.
-Joan McIntosh

From "Romancing the Ordinary: A Year of Simple Splendor" by Sarah Ban Breathnach:

Women were created to experience, interpret, revel in, and unravel the mysteries of Life through their senses. Our senses speak the secret language of the soul-longing. If there is anything every woman understands-whether she is single or married, eighteen or eighty-it is the dialect of desire.

Emotion is the feminine mother tongue Think of how often the senses are evoked in our casual conversation to convey a women's inner life: "I was so touched..." "I heard that..." "I see your point." "I felt misunderstood." "I could taste it, I wanted it so badly." "I had a hunch you'd call."

And yet how often in the course of one day do you deny your feelings' validity? How often do you turn away from their urgings or suppress the unruly things? Could it be that we don't trust our feelings because we haven't ever given ourselves permission to live as we are meant to? Luckily, most of us are born fully sentient beings, able "to perceive the world with all its gushing beauty and terror, right on our pulses," as the poet and naturalist Diane Ackerman tells us in her exquisite evocation A Natural History of the Senses. And yet we continually shut ourselves down, condemn ourselves to misery by rendering ourselves blind, deaf, and mute.
Think back to the three best moments of your life. Slowly summon them to return. Watch them ride a wave of rediscovery on your sense memories as you bring back the setting and mood and power of those moments.

Call back a moment of exhilaration and engagement. What were you doing? What were you looking at, holding, or hearing?

Call back a moment of clarity and commitment. What private prompt of your intuitive heart did you act upon?

Call back a moment of transcendence and transformation. What wonder was hidden in the tastes and textures of your everyday life? Today revisit those moments when your soul soared and yet you were completely connected to earth. And then, throughout the day, echo James Joyce's heroine Molly Bloom's exquisite moment of surrender by offering it to Heaven as a private psalm: And yes I said yes I will Yes!

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Do I Need Emotional Closure?

Enjoy Emotional Closure
A positive way to move ahead
by Jamie Nishi

While a new year is a wonderful opportunity to start fresh, consider new possibilities and set goals, before turning your thoughts to a list of resolutions, you also need to look closely at the year that's just come to a close. Before you can move forward, you must consider what brought you here to this moment. By looking at where you are now, you can decide what you want to carry with you as you face another year.
Almost more importantly, you can decide what you want to leave behind. If there are feelings, problems or pain that you'd rather not take with you as you move forward, read on to make sure you get the emotional closure you need to really evolve in the year to come
Do I need emotional closure?
Sometimes we need to cut the cords that bind in unhealthy ways so we can grow and find freedom and forgiveness. The act of finding closure can include coming to terms with difficult experiences, freeing yourself from emotions, people or experiences that drag you down, or finding of forgiveness, tranquility and peace
If an experience haunts you - large or small - with the ghosts or the conversations of the past constantly returning, reminding you of unpleasant experiences and weighing you down you need emotional closure. If feelings like anger, pain, sadness or regret become too powerful, you need emotional closure.
Ask yourself these questions
1. Is there some course of action I can take to bring an end to the pain?
2. If this plan of action were successful, how would I feel?
3. Do these feelings match up to how I ideally want to feel?
4. Is there any other course of action that would require less of me, but might give me the same result? (For instance, would writing a letter to an ex... would it give you the same emotional closure as a meeting in person? If so, do what is easiest on you.)It may be this easy.
The next time your mind starts to have a conversation with the person you were hurt by, or you have unresolved issues with, simply stop and put a period at the end of your thought. Even say aloud, I am done talking about this. Forgive yourself and move on in your thoughts. It can even work if you start replaying a scene in your head that will not go away. Say to yourself, "This is the last act. The play is over." It can be just that easy. Try it.
Write a good ending.
Keep in mind, while there may be a need for resolution, the only good solution is one that will not create more problems. If the only course of action you can think of opens the door to other problems, it might not be the right moment or way to seek closure.
Whether it's telling the person who hurt you about what you're feeling, confiding in a therapist, close friend or personal advisor, expressing your feelings is key to achieving emotional closure. If you're planning to meet with the person who is at the source of unhealthy feelings, it's important to let them know why you want to talk. Make sure it's clear that the meeting is an "emotional closure meeting," so that it doesn't come as a surprise to the other person. It's important to follow your instincts. If you know at a gut level that the other person won't be able to give you the closure you need (because they are angry or vengeful), don't meet in person.
You'll have to find closure another way. Here are some suggestions:
The age-old recourse of writing it out can be a great tool.
Try writing a letter addressed to the offending person. Maybe it's a letter you want to mail. Maybe it's one you want to tear up or file away as a journal entry.
While writing down your thoughts and feelings can be a great release, voicing them out loud can also have a liberating effect. When you have some alone time, reflect and meditate on what's bothering you, and then begin saying your thoughts out loud. Whether you are talking to yourself or to the Universe, your voice has an exorcising power.
Many times the conclusion we need is actually to forgive. Over time, forgiveness is the one sure cure for many emotional wounds.
Maybe next year… Yet again, maybe you aren't ready to put an end to your issue because you're still healing. Or perhaps what you perceive as a problem is also providing something positive in your life that is preventing you from cutting the cord. Whatever the situation, finding completion can be encouraged, but it can't be forced. If you're just not ready to cut a cord, find forgiveness or let the past be the past, remember it doesn't mean you're a bad, lesser evolved or that you're stuck and can't grow - it just means you're human and need more time to heal and move ahead in other ways.
The best thing you can do is to allow yourself more time and acknowledge that you will do so with an affirmation. Think, say aloud or write, "I am giving myself as much time as I need to find the peace I hope for." The right time will come. Most likely, it will happen in the year ahead.
While a new year is a wonderful opportunity to start fresh, consider new possibilities and set goals, before turning your thoughts to a list of resolutions, you also need to look closely at the year that's just come to a close. Before you can move forward, you must consider what brought you here to this moment. By looking at where you are now, you can decide what you want to carry with you as you face another year.

Almost more importantly, you can decide what you want to leave behind. If there are feelings, problems or pain that you'd rather not take with you as you move forward, read on to make sure you get the emotional closure you need to really evolve in the year to come!

Do I need emotional closure?
Sometimes we need to cut the cords that bind in unhealthy ways so we can grow and find freedom and forgiveness. The act of finding closure can include coming to terms with difficult experiences, freeing yourself from emotions, people or experiences that drag you down, or finding of forgiveness, tranquility and peace.

Friday, January 2, 2009

Another Great Story

Books That Made a Difference to Jodi Picoult
Life of Pi
By Yann Martel

The story sounds like the beginning of a joke: a boy, a hyena, a zebra, an orangutan, and a tiger floating on a lifeboat in the Pacific. Eventually, the hyena eats the zebra and the orangutan, then the Bengal attacks the hyena. The boy, Pi, is left with the tiger. When Pi washes ashore, he's met by some Japanese. He tells them his story, and they think he's crazy. So he gives them an alternative, saying that he was on the lifeboat with three other people, one a bloodthirsty chef who killed the others. The Japanese (and the reader) are left to decide which version they like more. From a writing standpoint, what makes this novel wonderful is that it asks questions: How do we make people believe our stories? Is there one way of telling a story, or are there many? What do we need to believe as readers, and, above all, to whom does this story belong—the writer or the person reading it?

From Beliefnet

Let It Shine: Inspiring Quotes About Light

"It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? …As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same."

Marianne Williamson
Continued on Slide 14: Giving Thanks for the Light

The Alchemist by Paolo Coelho

Reviewed By Kevin Joseph

More parable than novel, "The Alchemist" uses the story of young shepherd Santiago's search for his Personal Legend as an allegory for everyman's struggle to break from the comfortable confines of conformity and pursue his life dreams. Along the way, of course, our young everyman is beset by all manner of setbacks, testing his resolve and forcing him to become attuned to the Soul of the World in order to survive. By paying attention to the details in the world around him, which serve as omens guiding him towards his goal, young Santiago becomes an alchemist in his own right, spinning unfavorable circumstances into riches.

Aside from the ubiquitous theme about the power of perseverance, my favorite part of the book was its glorification of simplicity. Like the pared-down manner in which the story is presented, Santiago's rare ability to get in touch with the Soul of the World comes not from the procedures described in arcane tomes pursued by traditional alchemists, but rather from a simple honesty and observance of the workings of the world. While the lack of character or plot complexity precludes this minimalist work from being considered a great novel, it will be a satisfying read for those seeking inspiration of the purest sort.

-Kevin Joseph, author of "The Champion Maker"

A Happier You

A Happier You
By Eckhart Tolle

The greatest goal you can set this year is to make peace with your life, no matter your circumstances. These 10 powerful insights from Eckhart Tolle will get you started.

1. Don't seek happiness. If you seek it, you won't find it, because seeking is the antithesis of happiness. Happiness is ever elusive, but freedom from unhappiness is attainable now, by facing what is rather than making up stories about it.

2. The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but your thoughts about it. Be aware of the thoughts you are thinking. Separate them from the situation, which is always neutral, which always is as it is. There is the situation or the fact, and here are my thoughts about it. Instead of making up stories, stay with the facts. For example, "I am ruined" is a story. It limits you and prevents you from taking effective action. "I have 50 cents left in my bank account" is a fact. Facing facts is always empowering.

3. See if you can catch the voice in your head, perhaps in the very moment it complains about something, and recognize it for what it is: the voice of the ego, no more than a thought. Whenever you notice that voice, you will also realize that you are not the voice, but the one who is aware of it. In fact, you are the awareness that is aware of the voice. In the background, there is the awareness. In the foreground, there is the voice, the thinker. In this way you are becoming free of the ego, free of the unobserved mind.

4. Wherever you look, there is plenty of circumstantial evidence for the reality of time—a rotting apple, your face in the bathroom mirror compared with your face in a photo taken 30 years ago—yet you never find any direct evidence, you never experience time itself. You only ever experience the present moment.

5. Why do anxiety, stress, or negativity arise? Because you turned away from the present moment. And why did you do that? You thought something else was more important. One small error, one misperception, creates a world of suffering.

6. People believe themselves to be dependent on what happens for their happiness. They don't realize that what happens is the most unstable thing in the universe. It changes constantly. They look upon the present moment as either marred by something that has happened and shouldn't have or as deficient because of something that has not happened but should have. And so they miss the deeper perfection that is inherent in life itself, a perfection that lies beyond what is happening or not happening. Accept the present moment and find the perfection that is untouched by time.

7. The more shared past there is in a relationship, the more present you need to be; otherwise, you will be forced to relive the past again and again.

8. Equating the physical body with "I," the body that is destined to grow old, wither, and die, always leads to suffering. To refrain from identifying with the body doesn't mean that you no longer care for it. If it is strong, beautiful, or vigorous, you can appreciate those attributes—while they last. You can also improve the body's condition through nutrition and exercise. If you don't equate the body with who you are, when beauty fades, vigor diminishes, or the body becomes incapacitated, this will not affect your sense of worth or identity in any way. In fact, as the body begins to weaken, the light of consciousness can shine more easily.

9. You do not become good by trying to be good, but by finding the goodness that is already within you and allowing that goodness to emerge.

10. If peace is really what you want, then you will choose peace.

Exerpted from Oneness with All Life by Eckhart Tolle. Published by arrangement with Dutton, a member of Penguin Group (USA), Inc. Copywright © 2008 by Eckhart Tolle